Beautiful Trauma
by WeAreOnlyHalfwayHome93
Summary: The worst way to miss someone is for them to be right beside you and you know you can't have them.
1. We Burned So Bright

"_I believe I am in hell therefore I am."_

_~Arthur Rimbaud_

Valerie jerked suddenly when the Camaro came to an abrupt halt. She lifted her head and glanced at Billy but he didn't look at her. He got out of the car and slammed the door so hard that the glass in the frame rattled. She sighed and looked out the window up at the house in front of her.

It was October and her mother had just moved her and her sister to Bumfuck Egypt in the middle of Nowheresville America following her wedding to Valerie's new step-dad, Neil Hargrove. Neil had an infuriating son, Billy, who had gone to school with Valerie in California. They had been close before the wedding. To say the marriage changed things was a bit of an understatement.

The marriage had been a bit of a surprise. One minute Billy and Valerie are enjoying their time together, their respective parents ignorant of their after-school activities when Susan asked her and Max to dress nice because they were having dinner guests.

Valerie was surprised when her boyfriend and his dad showed up with a bouquet of flowers and a bottle of wine. Billy's face betrayed very little but Valerie had gotten good at reading him in their time together. He was just as surprised to see her as she was to see him.

Susan had ushered them in and they sat down for a lovely, if somewhat tense, dinner. During dessert, Susan had stopped eating and reached over to hold Neil's hand. Valerie felt her heart rate pick up at that and could hear her blood pumping in her ears. She felt the hairs on her arms stand on end. She tried to keep the apprehension off her face but she didn't think she did a good job.

Susan announced that she and Neil had been seeing each other for several months and were ready to announce their relationship to their children. Max was the only one who expressed herself verbally. She told her mother she was happy for her when her face expressed pretty much the opposite.

The rest of the night had been tense and Neil and Billy left soon after. Several hours later, Billy was knocking on her bedroom door, ranting about his father and his sudden desire to date again. Billy's mother had been gone for nearly seven years and in all that time Neil Hargrove hadn't dated a single woman. Not one woman until now and it was Valerie's mom. The universe must've been playing a dirty trick if this was their lot.

Valerie had shushed him and held his face in her hands. He had a new black eye and hers started to burn. Billy brushed her off was tender hands and settled them on her bed. He held her until she was asleep and he was gone when she woke up that morning.

Six months after they announced their relationship, they announced their engagement. Valerie cried every night after that. Billy would come to see her sometimes but he never stayed long. They spent most of their time together at school but even then it was few and far between. It was like the engagement created a rift in their relationship.

Susan and Neil made quick work of a wedding. Four months after they announced their engagement they were wed in front of their closest friends and family. Less than one hundred people. The reception was held in the basement of Neil's country club with even fewer people.

Life moved pretty fast after that. Neil and Billy moved into their house and within two months they announced their move nearly halfway across the country. Some podunk town in Indiana.

Valerie had never been angrier at her mom.

They sold their house and backed their things in record time. The new school year had been in session for almost two months and Valerie just knew that she would be treated like some rare oddity, some hidden treasure newly discovered to be gawked at and observed. She was from California, after all, and, if she had to guess, she bet that no one in this tiny town had ever left.

She heaved the last of her boxes into her room. Neil and Susan had at least had the decency to purchase a four-bedroom house so that she and Max wouldn't be forced to share. That had been a nightmare for the few months they did it in California.

She turned to the door and watched Billy stalk by with his own box, a set of headphones draped over his neck blaring Metallica. He ignored her.

She took a deep breath and swung herself outside her room, heading towards the end of the hall to Max's. She leaned her shoulder against the door frame and watched her sister toss various comic books and cassettes on the dresser. All her boxes labeled 'clothes' were stacked in the far corner and all her personal possessions were currently being rifled through.

Max looked up and met Valerie's eyes. Neither of them said anything, content in the shared displeasure that arose from their situation.

Valerie shoved off the door frame and ventured back to her room. She glanced in Billy's room as she did and ripped her eyes away quickly.

Life was already painful enough.

.

Valerie hated Billy's music.

She didn't mind it when they were dating but now it was next to insufferable. It might have had something to do with the fact that he listened to it at near-deafening levels but she wasn't one hundred percent sure.

It was Monday morning at hers and Billy's first official day at Hawkins High School. Max was attending Hawkins Middle School just down the street and brought her skateboard along to ride down the block.

The engine rumbled as Billy pulled into the high school parking lot. It cut off with a stutter when Billy killed the engine. Valerie turned to him but he was already out of the car before she could speak. She huffed and glared at his back.

She turned then to Max and gave her a forced smile. Max rolled her eyes and pushed at the back of her seat. Valerie stayed put and turned in her seat.

"Do you have everything you need?" Max rolled her eyes again and nodded. "I'll get whatever books I need today. Mom got it all set up with the counselor." Max's tone was exasperated.

Valerie nodded and pushed out of the car. She pulled her seat forward and Max leaped out, dropped her skateboard and pushing away down the broken pavement. Valerie watched her go and slammed the car door shut.

She shuffled around the front of the car and eyed the girls oogling Billy's ass.

Admittedly he had a nice ass but she felt a certain possessiveness. He hadn't been hers for a while what with their parents' marriage but they hadn't exactly broken up either. Mutually, they came to an understanding that being together while living under the same roof was not a good idea, especially with Neil's temperament. They agreed that it was best for them to ignore their feelings for each other.

To call what she felt for Billy 'feelings' was a gross understatement. What she and Billy had was beyond basic teenage emotions. They understood each other. They complimented each other. He brought out the best in her and she in him. For life to come and rudely rip it away from them was cruelty in its truest form.

There were lots of tears shed during their agreement. She had cried for days and Billy had started multiple fights at school.

Neither one of them had been happy since before the wedding. Hell, really since before Susan and Neil announced they were dating.

Valerie pulled up alongside Billy and tried not to be hurt by his refusal to acknowledge her. She knew that this was hard on him but it was hard on her, too. He wasn't making it easier.

They stopped in the office first thing and got their schedules, locker assignments and combinations. As soon as they were done in the office Billy walked in the opposite direction as her even though their lockers were in the same hallway. She watched him go and felt tears rush to her eyes. She turned with sharp precision down the hall and headed towards her locker.

She twisted the dial with shaking hands and stuffed her back inside, pulling out only a notebook and a pen. She jumped when a load shriek echoed four lockers down from her.

A petite brunette had a tall boy pressed against the lockers. His dark hair was styled in neat swirls across his forehead and along the sides. He was cleanly shaven with broad shoulders and long legs. He held himself with an ease and a confidence that was foreign to most high school students.

Billy had it and it was largely what attracted her to him. His confidence with his surroundings and the general high school drama. Both acted as if nothing could touch them. Everything just slid right off their backs like oil in water.

She knew that with Billy it was largely an act, a front he put on to protect himself. She wondered if this boy was the same.

The girl glanced over and saw her looking. Valerie blushed and looked away, into the depths of her locker. She closed her eyes when she felt a presence come up beside her.

"Hi! I'm Nancy. You're new, right?" Valerie turned her flushed face to Nancy and nodded, taking her offered hand. "Yeah, I'm Valerie." They shook hands and Nancy turned slightly to gesture to the tall boy she was swapping spit with earlier. "This is my boyfriend Steve." Valerie shook his hand as well and continued to admire him.

He had an angular face and the shadows dipped in all the right placed. He had a long sloping nose that accented the sharp lines of his jaw and cheekbones. His forehead was strong and framed his eyes in a way that made him look older. He had deep-set brown eyes that looked like they'd seen a lot in their short time. Valerie wondered if he and Billy were so different.

Physically so, yes, quite a bit. Billy's hair was light were Steve's was dark. Billy had hard eyes and Steve's were soft. Billy was shorter but broader, compacted with muscle. Steve was taller and leaner.

She could appreciate Steve's beauty but he wasn't Billy.

She sighed and shut her locker. "So, maybe you can help me find something to do in this town." Nancy smiled and glanced up at Steve. "Actually, I might have something that'll interest you." She watched Nancy pull a bright orange sheet of paper from her binder.

.

The car ride home was tense. Valerie could count on one hand the number of times Billy had spoken to her since the move

Once. One time and it was to tell her to "Get in the fucking car or you can walk home!" She felt a rage so potent simmer beneath her skin that she was sure he could feel it.

Max hadn't said anything when she got in the car and Billy peeled out of the parking lot, speeding down the road to their house.

Valerie glared at the side of his head until he looked over at her. "What?" She snorted and shook her head. He slammed his hand on the steering wheel. "Goddamnit! What? Why are you staring at me?"

She scoffed. "I'm just trying to figure out why you're being such an asshole." He glared over at her and intentionally jerked the car to the side. She gasped and had to grab the Jesus handle to keep herself from hitting her head. Max cussed.

Valerie shoved his arm and he gave a malicious laugh. "Baby, I've always been an asshole."

Her nostrils flared and she reared back.

It was true. He hadn't been particularly nice in California but it was familiar anger. Something that was seen often at their old school in their old town.

Here, in this place, his rage was unfamiliar. It was new. There were new reasons for it.

She shook her head. "Not like this. We used to be," He gave her a sharp look when she started that sentence. Valerie glanced briefly to Max in the back seat but she was focusing too much on trying to stay still from his dangerous driving habits to pay attention to their conversation. Valerie amended her statement anyway.

"We were friends. At least then I could tell why you were angry. Now you're just cruel."

Billy smirked at her and gave her a mocking kissy-face before speeding up and flying over the hills. Valerie shook her head and turned away from him. If he saw her tears he would laugh.

.

.

.

.

Following...events...of Season 3 I couldn't deal with less Billy in this world so I starting writing more. I started writing "Beautiful Trauma" shortly after Season 2 but never got around to expanding it and posting it. I felt that Billy needed someone who understood him and I thought the best way to represent that was to have a character who knew Billy before Hawkins. I gave Max an older sister, Valerie, who loves Billy in spite of who he is and what he does.


	2. Love Me Again

"_Love is giving someone the power to destroy you and trusting them not to."_

_~ E. Lockhart_

There were not enough words in the English Language to describe the kind of week that Valerie had had. First, they moved to some podunk town in the middle of nowhere. Then, she's rudely ignored by the one person that she thought she could count on. Lastly, she had yet to make a genuine friend in Hawkins.

She thought she had something with Nancy but the girl had been hard to keep track of. They had three classes together and Nancy seemed to make an effort before class started but anytime they were in the hallway, Nancy seemed distracted. Either by her boyfriend or something else, Valerie wasn't sure.

Billy had made it a point to pretty much ignore her outside of going to and from school and familial interaction around the house. Max was really her only saving grace and she was so damn angry. She was angry at their mom for marrying Neil, angry at Neil for moving them out there, angry at Billy for being a jackass. Just angry. It was hard to be around all that anger constantly.

Valerie looked up when she heard Billy's music crank on. It was Thursday night and she wouldn't be surprised if he already had plans.

Billy was attractive and she wasn't blind. She knew how girls looked at him. Hell, that was how she first looked at him the first time she saw him in California. He truly was a specimen shaped by the clever hands of whatever deity pulled the strings of life. It was as if he'd been carefully crafted with the very thought in mind to draw the eye up his frame from bottom to top and back again. He was beautiful and she didn't blame any girl, or guy, who thought so.

It would be easy for him to make friends and find a date, regardless of how she felt about it.

She released a long-suffering sigh and heaved herself off her bed and down the hall. His door was open and dense with smoke. She wrinkled her nose and waved her hand in front of her face, leaning against the door.

He saw her but didn't say anything, turning to his mirror and fingering his curls. He met her eyes in the mirror and Valerie almost cried at the brief glimpse of sadness she saw before his mask fell back into place.

"What?" He snapped. She shrugged and shook her head. "Nothing. I heard your music and thought I'd come see what you were up to." He flicked his eyes to hers and she could tell that he didn't believe her. "You always were a bad liar, Val." She stiffened at the familiar nickname but didn't say anything.

"Yeah, well, we all have our weaknesses." He snorted and straightened, turning his cologne bottle over onto his wrists.

She watched him work and knew, in the back of her mind, that this was what he did when he got ready for a date. The scent of his cologne was familiar and Billy was just pretty enough to know it and care.

She told herself to leave it alone, to not worry about it but, in the end, she just couldn't help herself.

"Hot date?" It sounded weak to her own ears and she grimaced. Billy stopped and stood up slowly. She couldn't look at him. Couldn't bear to see the pity or anger, whatever it was, that was in his eyes.

She did it anyway.

His face was blank but his eyes were expressive. They always were. His poker face could make the pros jealous but his eyes gave him away. They were pools of emotion, whirling around like stormclouds over an ocean. Waves crashing violently against each other, fighting one over the other, higher and higher until the surface broke and chaos exploded against the horizon.

She closed her eyes against the raging storm and turned her face away.

"Don't." His whisper was harsh between them.

She swallowed the lump in her throat and straightened her spine.

She was Valerie fucking Mayfield. She knew Billy better than anyone and she knew how to deal with his moods.

She was the one who broke through the surface of his anger in California. She was the one who pushed back when he lashed out at her attempts to get closer to him. She was the one who made the first move. She was the one who patched him up when his dad got rough. She made the first move. She was the girl he loved, no matter how much he tried to ignore it. She would not be cowed by his insecurities and anger.

"What? All I asked was if you had a date." She retorted. Her voice was just as sharp as Billy's and he caught it.

He narrowed his eyes at her and jerked his closet open. "You know what, Mayfield. We discussed this months ago." He tugged on his leather jacket and adjusted the collar. She felt a fire well up in her chest when he used her last name. They hadn't done that since before they were dating.

"I know exactly what we discussed, _Hargrove_. All I asked was if you had a date. No where in there did I say anything about us having been an _us _nor did I make some snide remark about how hard up the girls in this town must be for some new dick if you already have a date after being in this backwater town for," She looked mockingly down at her bare wrist as if she was checking the time. "Five fucking days. You sure do work fast, Hargrove."

If steam could come out of his ears, it would.

She wasn't wrong about his eyes displaying his emotions so easily. He was enraged. His eyes were ablaze with an anger she hadn't seen since Neil had announced their move. Billy had gotten a bloody lip for his troubles that night.

"You know what, Mayfield." He took slow measured steps towards her. "I _do_ have a hot date. Her name's Kimberly. She's got dark hair, brown eyes and a tight little ass that you could bounce a quarter off." He mimed flipping a coin, standing a hairsbreadth away from Valerie.

She could feel the heat rising up in her face and hot tears of frustration and anger and pain welling up in her eyes. Her hands were shaking and her chest was heaving as she took in great lungfuls of air.

"You're a son of a bitch." She couldn't bring herself to speak any louder than a whisper but Billy heard her. She could by the tightening around his eyes and the clenching of his jaw.

She knew that he was trying to hurt her and she told herself not to let it get to her but she loved him. It was hard to not take what he said personally. It was hard to let it roll off her back. Everything he was doing, everything he was saying, was coming from a place of pain and sorrow but that didn't give him the right to hurt her like he was.

"That may be, but you and I both know that I haven't gotten laid in months so I've hit a bit of a dry spell."

She always told herself she would never hit him. He got enough from his dad and he didn't need it from her but now he was just being cruel.

She didn't even think about it before it happened. It was over in less than a second and her hand tingled after.

Billy twisted his head back to the front, his cheek pink. He swiveled his jaw around and clicked his tongue. He glared at her from under his brow and sneered. "Get out."

She couldn't move fast enough.

She heard the door slam behind her as she fell onto her bed face first. She willed the tears back into her eyes and her throat was tight with the effort. She sniffed loudly and turned when she felt a body sit on the edge of the bed. It was Max.

Her little sister looked pensive and Valerie was sure she'd heard them arguing.

She sat up and tried to discreetly wipe underneath her eyes but she didn't think she'd done a very good job.

She gave her sister a smile that felt forced and settled her hands in her lap. "What's up, kid?" Max tried to smile but failed and instead turned to fully face Valerie.

"Are you okay?" Valerie shrugged in what she hoped was a nonchalant way. "I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be?" Her voice held a false sense of happiness that sounded hollow to her own ears.

She let Max scan her face for several seconds. "I heard you and Billy arguing. He sounded mad." Valerie rolled her eyes and leaned back against her pillows.

Max was not aware of the inner workings of their family. She didn't know the extent of Valerie and Billy's relationship. She knew that the two of them knew each other before their parents got married but she was not aware of how deep their relationship went.

Max was also unaware that Neil liked to use Billy as a punching bag from time to time.

Valerie had known since they got together in California and she was fairly certain that she was the only person who knew. She took it upon herself early in their relationship to fix him up. She would clean up the blood on his face and hands and she would bandage the deeper cuts on his face. She iced his bruises and wrapped his knuckles.

After their parents got married, Valerie suspected that her mother knew about the abuse as well. She didn't have proof but the way that Susan would eye the bruises on Billy's face with equal looks of shame and pity made Valerie suspect that she knew that Neil hit his son. Once Valerie knew that her mother knew Billy was in pain, she developed a deep resentment towards her mother that really only got worse.

Not only did Susan know about the violence but she married the man. It was one thing to find out that your boyfriend abuses his son but then to accept his marriage proposal after the fact was a whole new level of desperation. Or maybe Susan was just lonely. Either way, Valerie lost all respect for her mother the moment she realized that Susan knew Billy was being abused.

Billy and Valerie had an unspoken agreement that Max would never know. She was too young and knowing about the abuse would shatter her perception of the world so they had made it a point after the wedding to keep Max away from the knowledge of Neil's violence.

"He's fine. _I'm _fine. Tell me about school today." Max continued to look unsure but Valerie sat up and gently prodded her sister in speaking. Max finally relented and rolled her eyes.

"Fine. Science class was stupid. I guess we're learning about the brain but we covered that first quarter in California so," She shrugged and picked absently at the bedspread.

Valerie glanced up when she heard the front door slam. Max continued. "I don't think this town gets new kids very often because there were four boys who spent all of recess spying on me." Valerie smiled and nudged her little sister with her toes. "Maybe they think you're cute." She wiggled her eyebrows and Max laughed.

It always made Valerie feel good when she could make her sister laugh. "Ew! They don't think I'm cute. I'm just interesting to figure out. I'm from California. They've probably never met anyone who's not from this stupid town." Max looked down at the ground between her feet, swinging her legs side to side.

Valerie sighed softly and pushed her sister's hair back behind her ear. "Hey," Max looked up. "Do you want to get some ice cream and see what's on TV? Maybe there's a monster movie we can find."

Max's smile was hesitant but she nodded and hopped off the bed, leading Valerie out of the room and to the kitchen.

.

Valerie released a long breath and pressed her forehead against her locker. The final bell had just rung, releasing them for the weekend. Tina's Halloween party was tonight and Valerie wasn't sure if she was going to go. She knew Billy would be there and didn't know if she wanted to deal with him.

He had come home late from his date last night and spent nearly an hour in the shower. Valerie had leaned against her door frame as soon as she heard the shower shut off. When he came out the pain that Valerie felt nearly bent her in half.

There were scratches all down his back and a decent sized hickey on his collarbone.

He turned to look at her and the emptiness she saw in his eyes had her tears spilling down her cheeks. He didn't look sorry or angry or happy. He looked broken.

She had to close the door on him or else she'd collapse. She did just that as soon he was out of sight. She'd pressed her back against the door and slid down its surface, her hand held tight over her mouth to stifle her sobs. She heard his door close and lock and only then did she get up off the floor and bury herself beneath her blankets.

She cried herself to sleep and woke up with sore eyes and a headache.

School had been difficult but she'd made it through and now it was the weekend. She turned and pressed back against the locker, watching the nameless people pass her by, some looking at her with interest and most ignoring her. She saw Billy pass her with Tommy and Carol and their entourage. He trailed his eyes over her but didn't say anything. She could see the turmoil and conflict raging in his eyes before he was pulled away by something Tommy said.

Valerie perked up when she saw Nancy walking dejectedly down the hall, Steve nowhere in sight. She stepped up beside her and tried to smile. Nancy didn't seem to notice. Valerie tried anyway.

"Hey, Nancy, are you excited for Tina's party tonight?" That seemed to break Nancy out of whatever state she was in and the other girl looked up at her. "Oh, hey, Valerie. Yeah, I guess." Nancy turned away quickly and Valerie drew her eyebrows together.

Something was bothering Nancy or at least distracting her. "What are you going to dress up as?" Valerie tried again. Nancy didn't take the bait this time. "Look, I'm sorry, Valerie, but can we talk later? I'm supposed to get ready at Steve's." Nancy dashed away through the crowd and Valerie felt disheartened.

She made her way to the parking lot and saw Billy leaning against the back of his car smoking a cigarette and watching her. She glared at him as she passed and missed the way his eyes followed her. He sighed and turned back to the front, tossing his cigarette. There was a tightness starting in his chest and a lump rose up in his throat. He sniffed loudly and turned his head when he heard Max's skateboard.

He narrowed his eyes suddenly angry. "You're late again." He said. Max glanced up at Valerie standing by the front of the car but she didn't look at her. "Yeah," She looked over at Billy. "I had to get catch-up homework." Max opened the door and pushed the passenger seat forward. Valerie turned to follow her in. Billy scoffed and pushed off the car. "Jesus, I don't care. You're late again and you're skating home, do you hear me?"

Valerie glared at the side of Billy's head as she nudged Max into the car. She pushed the seat back and buckled herself in, ignoring Billy's poignant gaze across the center console. He gave a sharp huff before jerked the transmission and backing out.

He sped down the side street, his music blaring through the speakers. Max sat hunched in the back seat, her bag beside her and her skateboard at her feet. Valerie kept her gaze out the window and ignored Billy's petty attempts to get her to look at him.

"God, this place is such a shithole." He wasn't very loud but Valerie heard him. She turned her head. "It's not that bad." Max piped from the back seat. Billy looked at her in the rearview mirror and his eyes narrowed. Valerie glanced back at her and felt the storm brewing.

"Yeah, Billy, it's not that bad." Valerie quipped. The smile on her face was sardonic and Billy could tell. "No." He nodded and rolled down the window. Valerie jerked back as the wind caught her hair. "You smell that, Val." Billy was mocking her, holding his nose closed as he hummed. "That's actually shit. Cow shit." He looked over at her and she rolled the window up.

"I don't see any cows." She replied. Billy snorted. "You've met the high school girls. Hell, I saw you talking to Nancy Wheeler today." Billy's voice was dripping with acid and Valerie forced herself to bite her tongue. He wanted a reaction from her and she wasn't going to give him one.

Billy glared at her. "So what? You like it here now?" Valerie scoffed and shook her head but didn't answer him. "So why are you defending it?" Billy was looking at her, expecting an answer.

Valerie wanted to be the bigger person. She didn't want to give Billy a reason to release his anger.

She knew he was angry. She hadn't talked to him all day and he hadn't had time to expel his pent up emotions that had been raging inside him since last night.

"I'm not." She said with scorn. Billy shrugged. "Sure sounds like it."

Valerie turned to look at him. "Are the girls really such cows, Billy? I mean, they must not all suck after the night you had."

So much for being the bigger person.

Billy snapped his eyes over to her. She saw his lip curl up in contempt and a low growl from deep in his chest.

He shifted gears with a sharp jerk and the car flew down the street. Valerie's heart leaped in her chest and she gripped the dashboard.

They came over a hill and Valerie could see three boys riding their bikes down the street. "Billy, slow down," Max called from the backseat. She was leaning forward with her head between the two of them. "Are these your new hick friends?" He asked maliciously.

Max shook her head, her red hair flying around them. "No, I don't know them." Billy cocked his head, staring straight at Valerie. "I guess you won't care if I hit 'em then, huh?" He asked.

He sped up again and the car grew closer to the boys.

She didn't know what to do. Billy was doing it on purpose, trying to get a rise out of her. He wanted her to be anything but angry at him.

Well, he succeeded.

She was scared of him.

"I get bonus points if I get 'em all in one go?" Billy adjusted his grip on the steering wheel, careening down the street. "No, Billy, stop. It's not funny." Valerie said. Billy looked at her, his eyes were dark and resentful. His face was blank as he pushed the car to go faster.

The boys turned and began to pedal faster. "Billy, come on! Stop it! It's not funny!" Max screamed. Valerie snapped her eyes from the boys to Billy and back again. Billy smacked his hand against the steering wheel, his foot pressed to the floorboard of the car.

"Stop it!" Max screamed one last time. Valerie reached over and jerked the steering wheel to the left, swerving into the other lane and around the boys as they tumbled into the grassy shoulder. Max twisted around to watch the boys as they got to their feet.

Valerie pressed back against the door as Billy cackled, the car speeding down the road, music shaking the windows.


	3. This Love Is Pain

_"Love me still but know not why."_

_~ John Wilbye_

The party was in full swing when Valerie arrived. Bodies crowded the entryway and she had to throw elbows to move around. The music was thumping throughout the house, shaking the walls and ringing in her ears. The chatter between people was white noise in her ears as she moved through the rooms.

Her red hair was brushed back with a purple headband. She had on a lavender dress with a green scarf and purple high heels. Her sheer tights did little in the way of warding off the cold but Max had told her to go as Daphne and she didn't have any better ideas.

Billy had left an hour before she had. She didn't ask for a ride and he didn't offer. She had no desire to be around him after his stunt on the way home from school. She berated him at home, told him he could've killed those kids but he shrugged her off, claimed he wouldn't have hit them. Valerie didn't tell him that she thought he was lying.

She had convinced her mom to drop her off at the party on her way. Susan was dropping Max off in the wealthier part of Hawkins to trick or treat while she socialized with the other moms as they watched their kids with negligent eyes. Susan hadn't said anything when they stopped in front of Tina's house but Valerie could tell by the look on her face that she didn't think it was a good idea.

Valerie had waved them off with a floppy hand and a firm, "Billy will take me home" before Susan drove off down the crowded lane. Valerie had watched her taillights disappear before she ventured inside the house.

So far, she'd seen five faces that she recognized from school. She gave herself a pat on the back considering so many people were wearing masks and face paint of some kind.

She looked towards the back of the house when she heard chants of Billy's name. She saw him walk inside from the backyard, his leather jacket open over his bare chest. His chin was shiny with beer that ran in trails down his neck and chest. The ends of his hair was wet as well and she could see a streamer of toilet paper wrapped around his hand like he was going to wipe his face.

His eyes were focused on someone down and to her left and, when she looked, she saw Steve and Nancy leaning against the wall. Billy and his new entourage approached and she looked away.

She ventured into the kitchen and found a foggy bowl of red punch. She took a cup from the overturned stack and dipped it deep into the murky liquid. She sniffed it once and, finding it appealing enough, took a long drag. She coughed once and licked her lips, savoring the burn of the liquor as it traveled down her throat to her belly, the burn warming her from the inside out.

She turned to leave and stopped at the glistening chest in front of her. She looked up and met Billy's droopy blue eyes. He grinned down lazily at her and reached around for a cup. He dipped it into the punch bowl and drained it in three swallows. She pretended not to be transfixed by the muscles of his throat working beneath his skin.

"Hey Daphne, where's Scooby?" He drawled. She sneered up at him and pushed passed him. She didn't need to see to know that he was following her.

She pushed through the crowd and found a staircase. She gripped the knob of the banister and took the steps two at a time. Her calves were burning when she reached the top but she didn't see him behind when she checked.

She sighed and walked deeper down the hallway, examing the pictures hanging on the walls.

She ignored the sounds of sex as she passed by the various rooms. She stopped in front of a door that was surprisingly silent and twisted the knob. She had it open a crack when she felt hands at her waist. She shrieked and turned violently, hands up to strike her assailant.

She felt a righteous anger well up in her chest when she heard Billy's familiar laughter. She shoved him back and he stumbled half a step.

"You're an asshole, Billy." She spun on her heel and entered the empty bedroom. He followed her and closed the door behind him. He was still laughing, wiping away fake tears as he leaned up against the door. She rolled her eyes and crossed her arms over her chest.

"Oh, I'm sorry, Mayfield, but it was too easy." He sighed and copied her stance, his arms tight across his chest. She ignored the way his jacket strained against his arms and shoulders.

"What are you even supposed to be?" She scoffed. Billy smirked and pushed off the door, doing a dramatic spin and bowing. "I'm a rebel without a cause." He snorted and shook his head. She couldn't help the smile that began to stretch across her face.

This was the Billy she remembered. The one who could laugh at himself joke around with her. The one who wasn't afraid to be himself.

"Well, I'm sure every girl here's just dying to be the Natalie Wood to your James Dean." She snarked. She moved to go around him but he pressed back against the door, again, blocking her way. She huffed. He tilted head and narrowed his eyes.

"What about you?" He asked. She narrowed her eyes and shook her head, confused.

"What about me?" Her voice was sharp and Billy's jaw tensed. He turned his body to face her fully. She was level with his collarbone and didn't appreciate having to look up to meet his eyes.

"Are you dying to be my Natalie Wood?"

She sneered and shoved at his chest, trying to move him. For someone who'd been drinking, he was remarkably steady on his feet. He didn't move an inch when she shoved him. He just looked down at her with his piercing eyes and a straight face.

"Move." She shoved him again for good measure.

He shook his head. "No."

She glared at him, willing him to feel the heat of her gaze and the anger that burned in her chest. "Move."

He lowered his head until they were eye to eye. "No."

"Where do you get off, huh?" She scowled at him, her voice low and resonating. He reared his head back and gazed down at her, giving nothing away.

"You nearly run three kids off the road today, you scream at me and Max, you ignore me at home and at school, you treat me like I never even mattered." She shrugged and brought her hands up towards him in a placating manner, bringing them down with a slap that echoed through the room. "It's like you blame _us_ for moving to this backwater town when you _know_ that none of us had a say in this."

Billy shot off the wall and pointed a threatening finger at her. "You don't know anything, Mayfield so stop acting like you do. We both know who's fault it is for moving to this bum fuck town."

Valerie snorted. "You think you're so tough, pointing fingers at me, yelling and screaming." She moved into his space, forcing him back. "It's all just a show. You're putting on this grand performance to keep people from looking at you. You'd rather they see this arrogant, wild boy from California so that they don't ask questions 'cause God forbid they want to know anything about you.

"If they don't ask questions you don't have to remember." She poked her finger into his sticky chest and felt his breath heaving. He was trembling with rage and she could see color rising up in his cheeks.

"If no one digs deep you don't have to think about what you're missing. You don't have to think about me, what we had and how happy you were. That makes it easier, right?" She nodded, clenching her jaw. She could hear the breath rushing from his lungs through his nose. It was sharp and exploded across her face in a stream of cool air.

She stood up on her toes, brushing her nose with Billy's. "Well, fuck you, Billy Hargrove."

She pushed passed his waist and wrapped her hand around the doorknob, turning it. He wrapped his hand around her wrist and jerked her around, pressing her back against the door.

"You don't know shit, Mayfield." She opened her mouth to retort but was silenced by his lips.

He pressed hard against her, shoving her back with his body, pressing fully against her. She moaned and thrust her tongue against his, tasting beer on his breath.

His hands raked down her sides, sliding down her thighs and hoisting one up around his waist. He snaked his hand around the inside of her thigh and ghosting his fingers across her panty line. She shivered and groaned against his lips, wrapping her arms tight around his neck, holding him to her.

He groaned and tilted his head, moving his lips across her cheek and down her neck. She clenched her eyes shut and dropped her head back against the door. Billy tugged the edge of her panties aside and slipped his fingers against the seam of her core. She gasped sharply, a high whine trailing off against his ear.

He groaned at the wet heat dripping over the pads of his fingers. He brushed his nose against her ear and tugged gently on the lobe. She shivered and tightened her arms around him. "Tell me to stop." He whispered.

She pulled her bottom lip between her teeth and shook her head, clutching him closer to her. "Keep going." She said. He moaned low into her neck and didn't hesitate.

His hands moved rapidly to unfasten his jeans and in less than a minute, he was sheathed inside her. She gasped and tensed against him. The entrance was slick but tight. He stretched her to a point that was familiar and yet not. It had been months since they'd been together so she was a little out of practice.

In time, her body became familiar with the burn that came with taking Billy inside her and she nodded against him. He pistoned in and out of her with rapid strokes, building himself up.

She felt a simmer deep in her belly, centered around her core and she raked her nails through his hair. Billy licked a stripe up her neck and brought a hand down between them, pressing rough fingers against her clit.

She groaned against his neck and felt goosebumps rise up along her arms and legs. He pumped his hips three more times against her before he shuddered. She felt him spill inside her and she pulled roughly on his hair. He growled and circled his fingers against her, finishing her off.

As soon as she caught her breath, she shoved him away.

He gave her a hard stare and scoffed, pushing himself back inside his jeans and zipping up. "What?" He scoffed.

She adjusted the skirt of her dress and rolled her eyes. "You can't just jump me every time I piss you off." He snorted and shook his head, pushing his curls back away from his face.

"I don't. Just when you're being difficult." He smacked his lips and rested his hands on his hips, arching his back and cracking his spine. He groaned at the relief and smirked at her downturned expression. He stepped forward and cupped her chin in his hand.

"Cheer up." He said before planting a smacking kiss on her lips. She shoved him back and wiped roughly at her lips with the back of her hand. "Next time you're being difficult, I'll just push you up against a wall and make you come. Maybe then you won't piss me off as much."

Her nostrils flared and she pushed her hand flat against his face, shoving him back. He cackled and reached around her for the doorknob. "Stop being such a buzzkill and have fun, Mayfield."

To anyone else, he would've sounded like he meant it. Valerie knew that he was patronizing her. She snorted and pushed passed him out the door. She ignored the sound of his laughter and instead looked for a bathroom.

She was halfway down the hall when Steve Harrington stormed out the door ahead of her and disappeared down the stairs. She huffed and turned to the door he came out of. She approached and knocked.

She heard a feminine grown and pushed it open.

Nancy was leaning unsteadily over the sink, wiping futilely at the giant red stain on the front of her white sweater. Valerie felt a small smile come over her lips and she laughed lightly.

"Nancy, do you need help?" The girl in question looked at her through dazed eyes and shook her head. She looked like a bobblehead. Valerie suppressed her laughter and came in, leaving the door open behind her.

"Here, Nance, let's get you downstairs." Just as she made to move Nancy's arm over her shoulders, a figure loomed in the doorway. Valerie looked up and was met with the puppy dog eyes and droopy face of Jonathan Byers.


End file.
